Reality Isn’t Reality: Toxic Reality TV vs. Real Sisterhood
- Juli "Candi" Long
- Jan 28
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 13
Are We Addicted to Watching Women Tear Each Other Down?
Today, I had one of those moments where real life and entertainment collided in my mind. I was about to start watching Wags to Riches, a new reality show on Netflix about the wives and girlfriends of athletes. A few friends had recommended it, and I was curious. Would it be like Basketball Wives or Football Wives?
But then I paused.

I started thinking about the blueprint for all these shows: women meeting, bonding, and then inevitably turning on each other. This ongoing cycle highlights the battle between toxic reality TV vs. real sisterhood—one built on competition and betrayal, the other on love and support.
After running this through my mind several times, it made me think—are we addicted to the cycle of toxic reality TV vs. real sisterhood? And more importantly, how does it affect how we treat each other in real life?
Do I really want to watch another show about women tearing each other down when I’m out here trying to build women up?
Reality TV’s Toxic Formula: Entertainment at What Cost?
The thought stuck with me all day. It hit even harder after a conversation I had with a stranger earlier. She was struggling, and I took a few moments to encourage her and remind her of her worth. That exchange felt so powerful—a reminder of what I’ve been craving lately: real sisterhood. The kind where we take time for each other, uplift one another, and hold space for healing.
It made me realize how much reality TV isn’t reality.
We’ve been entertained for years by shows like Love & Hip Hop, Real Housewives, Married to Medicine, and Braxton Family Values. But let’s be real—what’s the formula that keeps us watching?
Toxic Reality TV vs. Real Sisterhood: Why We Need a Change
And while these shows claim to be “reality,” they’re not. What they really do is glorify the worst parts of friendship, sisterhood, and womanhood. Somewhere along the way, we started applying this toxic blueprint to our own lives—whether we realize it or not.
Reality TV thrives on betrayal, gossip, and chaos. But the truth is, these shows create a distorted version of female friendships. The battle between toxic reality TV vs. real sisterhood isn’t just happening on-screen—it’s leaking into real-life friendships, workplaces, and communities.
When Entertainment Becomes Influence: How Toxic Reality TV Shapes Real Sisterhood
This isn’t about one show or franchise. Across the board—whether it’s Love & Hip Hop, Love & Marriage: Huntsville, or Real Housewives—the storylines are the same: cattiness, backstabbing, hazing, and bullying. Even shows that started with good intentions, like Braxton Family Values, ended up focusing on fights, betrayals, and exposed secrets.
And it’s not just on TV. This toxic energy has seeped into real life.
🔹 A woman lands a promotion, finds happiness, or launches a business—and instead of celebrating her, people hate.
🔹 Instead of uplifting women who are struggling, we watch reality stars drag each other for ratings and subconsciously carry that energy into our friendships.
🔹 Instead of telling young girls to demand respect, we hear things like, “Just let him cheat and buy you a Birkin.”
Sis, no. We deserve better.

Breaking the Cycle: Choosing Real Sisterhood Over Toxic Reality TV
For the last few years, I’ve been on a journey of healing. I stepped back from reality TV, social media drama, and everything that didn’t serve me. I focused on my children, my friendships, and my peace.
And you know what happened?
I found my tribe—women who actually uplift and support each other. Women who celebrate each other’s wins and hold space for each other’s struggles.
But when I dipped my toe back into reality TV, I realized something: while I had been healing and growing, the entertainment industry hadn’t. The same cycles of drama, betrayal, and broken relationships were still playing out.
And that’s when I knew: it’s time to rewrite the script.

A New Sisterhood: Let’s Rewrite the Script and Move Beyond Toxic Reality TV
The way women are portrayed on TV—and how that’s influencing real life—isn’t working. We need to change the narrative. Imagine if we:
🌸Celebrated each other’s wins, even if we’re still waiting for our own.
🌸 Supported each other through the hard times without judgment or gossip.
🌸 Taught younger women that they deserve respect, loyalty, and love.
🌸 Refused to tear another woman down—because we know how much it hurts when it’s done to us.
Imagine if we stopped competing and started collaborating.
Imagine if we stopped laughing at another woman’s pain and started holding space for her healing.
Imagine what we could build if we truly had each other’s backs.
We have a choice: to keep consuming toxic reality TV vs. real sisterhood or to rewrite the script and build something better. The next time you see a woman winning, lift her up. The next time a woman is struggling, offer her kindness instead of criticism. It’s time to create a new sisterhood—one based on love, respect, and authenticity.

The Call to Action: Choose Real Sisterhood Over Toxic Reality TV Spectacle
Reality TV isn’t reality. But the way we treat each other in real life? That is.
So, next time you see a woman winning—celebrate her. Next time you see a woman hurting—offer her kindness instead of criticism. And the next time someone tries to bring you into negativity—pivot.
We’re stronger together, and it’s time we start acting like it.
Let’s create a new sisterhood—one built on love, respect, and integrity. Because when one of us wins, we all win.
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